Jokes for Kids

  • What did monsters eat at a restaurant ?
  • Waiters

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  • What does the talking weighing machine tell to a fat woman when she steps on it?
  • One at a time ,please

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  • A bald man had two flies sitting on his head.What did one fly said to other ?
  • Damn, no place to hide

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  • Special Offer of the Week at a pet-shop
  • Buy 1 Cat -Get 1 Flea Free

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  • Johney,Johney Yes Papa
  • Watching Facebook? No Papa
  • Playing Games? No Papa
  • Tweeting something? No Papa
  • Chatting online ?No Papa
  • Shut-down the I-pad . Hahaha

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  • Mother :How was your school, Mary?
  • Mary:Nothing special except that teacher did not know the spellings of cat,so I told here

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  • Mother:Lilly, how was your first day at school?
  • Lilly:Oh, it was fun, but there was some man called teacher, who kept shouting at us

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  • Kid:I am not going to school from tomorrow.
  • Mother:Why
  • Kid: Our teacher knows nothing, she always keeps asking us everything

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  • A small boy enters a mechanic shop and the mechanic whispers to one his customer: ‘He is the dumbest kid in the world. Have a look why I say so.’
  • He puts a $10 coin in one hand and two $1 coins (1+1=2) in the other one, he then calls the boy and asks, ‘Which do you want, son- one coin or two coins?’
  • The boy takes the two $1 coins and leaves. The mechanic said, ‘I told you so. Am doing it for past several days, but this kid never learns!’
  • Later, when the customer goes out, he finds the same boy coming out of an ice-cream store. ‘Hey, boy! can I ask you a something? ‘
  • ’Why you took two $1 coins instead of one $10 coin? Don’t you know one $10 coin is higher than two $1 coins’
  • The boy licked his ice-cream and said ‘Because the day I take the $10 coin,the game would be over.’

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  • Sara:Our teacher talks of herself.Does yours?
  • Mac:Yes,but she does not realize it, she thinks we’re actually listening

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